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Should Teachers Be Warm and Fuzzy?

I received my Spring 2010 evaluations yesterday. They were the best I've ever had, which was great. But in the midst of the positive comments, multiple students complained that I was cold and unapproachable, and uninterested in hearing their problems.

This all true. I'm not a warm and fuzzy teacher, and I'm not flexible about the standards for the class. Despite what they think, I do wish the best for my students. But I am very aware of my role is in their lives: I'm their sociology professor. I'm not their father, their counselor, their friend, or their confidant. I think I'm really good at teaching them sociology and I know I'd be pretty cruddy at doing those other things.

My instinct is to ignore the comments and focus on the positive, as well as the critical feedback that strikes me as more constructive. But I'm curious why students feel compelled to critique me for my warmth, and lack thereof.
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  1. JessJune 30, 2010 at 2:10 AM

    Interesting criticism, and I'm not sure I'd throw it out, but I suspect there's a difference between personal "warmth" and an ability to listen in such a way that people feel heard, regardless of whether or not you solve their problems for them. I've interacted with people who weren't particularly cuddly but did strike me as interested in what I had to say and respectful of me as a person. I've also known "warm" people who didn't seem particularly sincere. There's something else here. Your job, as I see it, is to suss out whether the students are asking you to be a cookie-baking sweetheart, or if what they're really telling you is that they don't feel particularly heard and respected. Tossing out critique that doesn't fit your current understanding of your approach to teaching would, essentially, invalidate the thoughts and feelings of the students who offered it.

    Have you read any of Marshall Rosenberg's work on Nonviolent Communication? It's probably worth perusing if you haven't. While I find his tone a little annoying at times, the observations/feelings/needs/request model is effective even when you are ultimately not going to bend your standards.

    For what it's worth, parenting and teaching can overlap significantly. Perhaps investigating your assumptions about the differences between the two could help to get to the source of the students' critique?

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  2. JessJune 30, 2010 at 2:19 AM

    Returning to add that I understand that you have purposefully chosen not to entangle yourself in the emotional lives of your students. This strikes me as a very appropriate and professional choice. It is possible to acknowledge the feelings of students and thereby provide validation to them without emotional involvement. That is, acknowledging that feelings exist is not the same as engaging in an emotionally charged relationship with the student.

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